Hand back the keys to the house and car

As adult men, some of us have stated outright that it is insulting to be portrayed in film, comedy and throughout the culture as clueless teenage boys. We are shown as stupid and useless without a responsible woman or a mom to set us straight. But, we are also given permission to blame them when we screw up. It’s trite and deeming to us and to moms and to women in general. Looks like it doesn’t serve anyone. The media does it in part to sell things. The attitude is do what you want, when you want and don't let anyone stop you.  Justified selfishness.  So why do conservative (for lack of a better word)  political planks sound like spoiled frat boys wrote them? Sometimes it does seem like teenage boys are running the country.

Case in point - Brat response

Reading the following article in the North County Times yesterday, “Alliance to expand reach beyond homeless shelters”

“The [North County] alliance is made up of Carlsbad, Del Mar, Escondido, Encinitas, Oceanside, Poway, San Marcos, Solana Beach and Vista. The nine cities united about five years ago to work together on

solutions to regional issues.

"The group's main focus has been its winter homeless shelter program, but two weeks ago, alliance members held a workshop to expand its vision and mission.”

"How do we identify emerging needs and gaps in services, and create solutions for those?" Stump said the group also wants the alliance to be seen as an advocacy group for North County, becoming more strategic than reactive. “

Having a lot of respect for North County Resource Center and its director, Lauren Pause, and Councilwoman Barth, the article was of interest. Another participant was Anahid Brakke of the Leichtag Foundation, the group purchasing the Ecke land. Teresa Barth’s newsletter had this note,

“I attended this meeting and look forward to participating in the future. The expanded focus is about helping people become self-sufficient. In this economic downturn many people find themselves in need of assistance...housing, food, job retraining, etc.... for the first time in their lives.“

That was what I found most important to me. How many of us who never thought of ourselves as vulnerable can have the night sweats, of being a couple of paychecks away from the unthinkable, a fear of descent into deepest debt foreclosure and homelessness. It is a changing reality where big banks, big oil , big agriculture, big auto, big coal all get bail outs and subsidies and millions who are drowning are systematically being cut off from any assist. It is horrifying in country supposedly the wealthiest in the world.

Yet, I turned to the comments thinking there are others noticing the rising ranks of homeless and find comments like this,

NewTrueAmericanPatriot4a257 - May 06, 2012 5:00 pm What? Don't these people know that these issues are very Liberal and Liberalism is NOT where America is at present! Who ever heard of compassion in a conservative America? How are my taxes going to go down if we are compassionate? Compassion only means creating government programs to help the needy! This must stop! The greater good for today's America is about lower taxes!

Bunch of Teen Boys Gone Crazy
This kind of arrogant, selfish childishness is exasperating. What really got me going along these lines were some perceptive words about teenage boys by Sara Robinson this morning that hit me squarely in the gut. Perfectly stated for what I’d read in those comments. She is writing as a mother on Mother’s Day to right wing politicians (commenters?), “

Also: I'm putting them on notice: I don't ever want to hear one more word about the "nanny state." Not one. Not ever again. First of all : It's ugly. It just reeks of that 16-year-old boy being told to clean up his mess. The big sigh. The dramatic eye-roll. The drawn-out, agonized, "yyezzzz, mommmm..." that lets you know you're about to spend the rest of the evening in a passive-aggressive battle during which your teenager will generate enough inertia to bring the rotation of this and several neighboring galaxies to a dead stop. The "nanny state" is making you do the dishes, and then it wants you to clean out the garage. You poor persecuted darling. Go dial 1-976-WAAAAAH”

And then this, where I thought of the great monstrous misfit in our California communities. We have a growing stock of empty, foreclosed houses and a burgeoning need for affordable housing for the homeless and simply lowered incomes of our middle class residents, aging population and young families. The system is broken. Capitalism as it stands is a monstrous failure to sustain our community fabric. Who is being served except the top 1%?

 Sara continued,

“The essential difference that separates the men and the boys is that men understand and accept that they have an obligation to the greater good, and are willing to unflinchingly step up to that responsibility. They commit to their families. They work to improve their homes and communities, so they're safe and nurturing places for everyone to be. They take the long view as they plan for their kids' future. They look out for people around them who are weaker than they are. And they respect and cherish the co-parents of their children as their equal partners in that effort.

Adult men do not resent being asked to contribute to the collective whole. They know that their actions have consequences, and that they are responsible for the impact of those consequences on the greater good of the community.” 

 It is high time we called out this self-serving kind of attitude. It won’t be easy because we’re surrounded by it thanks to corporate media and billions being spent to keep this punishing status quo. Media is another of the BIG BOYS, who win with this game while the rest of us continue to lose. Adults are talking to each other again. We can tell them we want the keys to the house and car back.